Sonntag, 21. April 2013

E. L. James - Fifty Shades of Grey

Yes, I did it. After consistently mocking the book, I finally read it. Okay, it wasn’t entirely voluntary. My best friends decided that I shouldn’t start my 24th year of life without being the ‘proud’ owner of all three fifty shades book. My revenge was that I constantly sent them text snapshots via WhatsApp. I just had to share some of that stuff. The fact that I use the word ‘revenge’ gives you a slight hint on my impressions of this book.

It is terrible. From the first page on. I don’t even know if I should be happy about the fact that there are obviously still so many people reading books or if I’d prefer they wouldn’t read, instead of reading such bullsh*t (yes, I have to use this word here).
First of all, the characters. I will not compare them to Twilight folks, as I haven’t read Twilight (yes, shocking right? I also didn’t read Harry Potter and the Hunger Games and I don’t feel like I’ve missed something). Anna Steele. What to say about her? A university student without a computer. Ha, ha, right! I can accept the fact that she is not into all the newest gadgets out there (it is kind of fashionable to do that…) but no computer at home? Naaaaa… But hey, she could still be a great person right? Unfortunately not. She is so naive, I really wanted to slap her several times. No sexual interests so far (at least as unlikely as the computer issue), Anna is equipped with an inner goddess whose sole purpose in the book is to annoy the reader. On this blog, I’ve read that this inner goddess bla bla comes up 58 times. 58 times?! I don’t know what’s wrong with her inner goddess but she’s definitely talking too much. Too much nonsense.
And then there is Christian Grey, the dream of every housewife. I don’t know why. That guy has some serious issues. Serious meaning the only place he should be is a clinic. He should definitely not be hooking up with Anna. He’s a dominant control freak with crazy fantasies. I didn’t feel attracted to him at all, there is really nothing about him to like.

Of course, with characters like that, the story also sucks. Christian wants Anna, Anna hesitates, Anna falls for him, Anna has one orgasm after the other, Christian dominates her, Anna starts hesitating, they split. A story you could probably tell on 100 pages, unfortunately the book is a lot thicker.
Worse than the characters and the lame story is the writing. Everything is described very detailed. I am pretty sure, E.L. James has used almost every adjective. You want to imagine how Christian Grey looks like? Well, there is not a lot of room for that, as she describes his look onto the last hair on his head. She uses the same words over and over again. It is, regarding writing style, one of the worst books I’ve ever read. I will probably not read the other two, although I feel that this book is like an accident, I just want to see how bad it can get.

By the way, my friends refuse to read it, after I’ve sent them a snapshot of the tampon scene…

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